the myth of the ‘perfect’ body
Have you spent years dieting, engaging in restrictive eating habits, or battling an eating disorder in an effort to achieve the “perfect” body weight, shape, or size? Do you constantly compare your body to those you see on social media or in magazines, thinking, “If only I looked like them, then I would be happy?” With all these images of the ‘perfect’ body everywhere you look, it is hard not to feel unhappy with your body. However, we will see that the idea of the ‘perfect body’ does not exist and can even damage our physical health, mental well-being, and hinder your journey towards eating disorder recovery.
the origins of the ‘perfect body’
Traditionally, women have been striving to achieve a particular body shape. Historically, women’s “marriageability” was linked to physical appearance, so attaining a specific body size, shape, or weight was seen as a way to provide safety and security for her future. In today’s world, however, these ideals are often perpetuated by social media, advertising, and diet culture that reinforces unrealistic body standards. These body ideals have become increasingly visible, and today, we are constantly bombarded by messages about how we should look and what we should do to get there. These ideals no longer affect mostly women but all genders.
is it a myth?
From our experience clinically, the “perfect body” doesn’t actually exist. The ‘perfect’ body we often see on social media (like the thin but strong woman or the lean and muscular man) isn’t actually achievable for most people for many reasons:
1. the “perfect body” is unachievable!
Most people have an image of the “perfect body”—dictated by factors like what we see on social media, our culture, or our background. You most likely have a specific size, weight, or shape you want your body to be. You may also think that achieving this ‘perfect body’ means you will be happy when you reach it. This is all thanks to media and marketing that tell us to be happy, we must look a certain way.
However, the reality is that this “perfect body” doesn’t exist in the real world. For starters, the images we see in the media aren’t usually real – and instead have been edited to an inch of their lives. This constant exposure can trigger unhealthy behaviors such as restrictive dieting, excessive exercise, and even the development of eating disorders. You are left comparing yourself to an image that nobody actually looks like. On top of this, no two bodies are the same. We all look different, and even if we all ate and exercised the same, we still wouldn’t look the same. So, striving to achieve this body leaves you in a constant battle to achieve something you will never get to, feeling unsatisfied and unhappy. Which brings us to the next point…
2. even if you got there, you still wouldn’t be happy.
Have you ever set a weight loss goal, achieved it, and then found yourself setting a new one? That moment of delight at seeing the number on the scales or fitting into a certain clothes size quickly replaced by a new weight or size target, constantly telling yourself that “when I reach that goal, then I will be happy.” This cycle is often seen in those recovering from an eating disorder, where despite what they have been led to believe, weight loss or changing how they look on the outside hasn’t made them any happier.
Despite what the media leads you to believe, changing how you look on the outside doesn’t change how you feel on the inside. You will still find yourself picking yourself apart, comparing yourself to friends, and setting new weight targets. This is why eating disorder recovery often focuses on improving body image and self-compassion rather than just physical changes. It is essential to work on your body image from the inside, looking at how you think about yourself, speak to yourself, and feel about yourself, rather than solely focusing on changing how you look.
3. the “perfect body” changes over time.
If you look back through magazines from the 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, and up to the present day, you will notice that what is deemed to be the “perfect body” shape has changed a lot over time. From the curvy hourglass figure of the 1950s to Heroin Chic in the 90s and on to Kim Kardashian’s bum in the 2010s, it is impossible to keep up.
The reality is that most people will never look like the ideal body shape, and even if you do for a period of time, it will likely change. You could find yourself spending years trying to look how the media encourages you to look, only to find that the trend has changed. This is one of the dangers of basing your self-worth on how you look – one minute you could feel great, and the next, your body shape could be “out of fashion.” This ever-changing ideal underscores the importance of focusing on sustainable health and self-acceptance as part of eating disorder recovery.
4. it changes across cultures.
When you look at other cultures, you will often find that what they deem to be beautiful, or the “ideal” body shape is very different from what your own believes. In Western cultures, people wear fake tan to give themselves a “holiday glow.” In contrast, in Asian cultures, a fair complexion is often idealized, and people use umbrellas in the summer to prevent their skin from darkening. These cultural differences highlight that beauty standards are subjective and should not dictate our self-worth or recovery goals.
there is no ‘perfect body’
There is no one ‘perfect body.’ The ideal body size, shape, and weight have changed over the years and differ across cultures and often across individuals too. It is generally a myth, something we have in our heads that is unachievable. Even those who come close to reaching their ideal body shape or look find themselves chasing a new goal because the reality is that changing how you look on the outside doesn’t change how you feel about yourself on the inside. True healing and happiness come from embracing your body as it is and focusing on your overall well-being during your eating disorder recovery journey.
we are here to help
If you are struggling with body image or disordered eating or are on the path to eating disorder recovery, know that support is available. Find out more about our one-to-one eating disorder recovery services.